@bluepupboi dang. thanks for posting this. I think I needed to read it

@bluepupboi
One is missing.

The child thinks he is the bad guy and responsible for any bad that happens to him and his family.

The children always think that they are guilty to what happpens to them 😠

@bluepupboi
In the end this feeling nearly kills me and i needet to get mid 30's to free me of this feeling.

The deep knowledge of my missbeing and worthlessness....
The endless bashing and slamming of me to myself...

What a fuck.
It+s terrible what can happen to a child, even in the case your parents just want to do the best they can.

Remember: NEVER say "ass*le" to yourself. It has a much to much consequences.

@bluepupboi my parents beat the life out of me, and then when i cried, beat me some more, because how dare i cry

slowly, the "when" became an "if", and eventually i lost the ability to cry altogether, but that wasn't enough: every (emotional) reaction of mine was wrong and punished, so i shielded myself from all of my emotions so i wouldn't hurt, and the only emotions that i eventually had were anger, and confusion

@bluepupboi whelp

thanks to the power of estrogen, and this tiny little baby sleeping on me, i can cry again

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